What if??

Today, when i am walking to work in the morning 6.40am. I nearly knock down by a cab if i walk faster. Ready to cross the road at the zebra crossing and the cab just drive pass in front of me. At that very moment, i started to think. If i really knock down by the cab! What will it happened for the very next moment??
Is things lots of nurses and ppl will be surrounded me, and A&E is just across the road. No ambulance because i am very near the A&E so pushing the trolley will be good enough. Next i will be will lots of lead and stuff, a&e will post the news to the hospital, ward will be inform and teacher will be inform. Student nu res nyp involve in RTA. Teacher will come, and the whole hospital will know about me.
Follow by parents will be inform and family will be inform. During that moment when crossing the road, what am i thinking? I am thinking of him. My mind came if really happened to me, guess he will be the dunno how person to know about my accident.
Mother will be very sad and worried, brother and sis in law will come and father will be dunno what to do? Whole family and my mother gang will be inform. Than slowly my friends. And from my close friends who know him will also let him know.
But will he come and visit me? I guess he will. How will he feel? Sad and regret? Maybe because i have already make him terrible is such things really happened to me, he will be more terrible. If i really can't make it. I guess every one will cry from me and i will see lots of ppl around me. And at that point of time. I will like to let my mother know, i know i have not been a very good daughter that always give her worried and i want her to have good health. And i am sure she will have no more heart doing the prayers at home. As for my brother he will be very sad, and he will start to blame on the god that we prayed. And i will like to let my brother know. He had a family right now, he had change allots from last time after he became a father and asked him dun neglected mother and father and pls bring my cute nephew to visit my mum instead of them to pay a visit to the grandson. I will bless him with luck. Father i always feel that we have never want to talk to my father in our family, we have lack of communication with him, I know he love me a lots and care for me, but he always dunno how to approach me, even don he know that i am sad about things. I want to tell him, rest for his life dun work so hard. As for the special person, I will want to tell him, dun give up on anythings that he wanted to do, dun feel bad about himself and about me. Be more happier with himself and hope him to have a good future with my total bless to him. I know i have not been a good girlfriend but pls forgive me. But our love will be forever remember and i will forever treasure. To my little nephew, I might not able to see to grow up but he must always remember he has a auntie that love him alots. For the rest of my friends and ppl who had hurt me or ppl who i dun like or like.
I have forgive what ever hurt they done to me, I would not want to see my friends and family to be sad about me. Hope all my friends live with happiness.

Or
What if i never die? My ward will full of ppl that come and visit me, but will he be still with me? I think not, by telling myself not because i dun want to hope but of course i hope he will. My friend will visit me, and i will have full of present from them. How long will i stay in the hospital to recover? Will i be disfigure? What will my life lead to?

I know i been thinking too much. But at point of moment i really think of that . Who know what will happened to me the very next moment? I just want to wirte down something that i want to say.