Umberlla

Today i took an umbrella from my clinic. And i have leave it in Ivan warehouse and forgotten to take back.. and the umbrella now is staying in the warehouse or maybe has been use my someone.
What is the umbrella has a life?

It was born in the factory, and sold it to the shop for sell.
Umbrella might have stay in the shop for few mths or maybe year.. Umbrella started to get use to staying in the shop like home with friends like her and some treated like family. And she was never thought that she will be away until one of the a day some one bought her over due to a rainy day..
Umbrella now was brought to a place that she never been and it was a totally nice and new environment to her. she start all over again in this new place with her new owner. She was alone but she dun feel lonely beocz the new owner has treated her well, bring her too all kinds of places that she has never been before.. and always never forget to bring her home.
But one day, the owner was sick and so sick that she was left in the place that she never thought that she is going to spend another few mth or years there, with no once notice. She's been left in a clinic alone.. after a few mths she make new friends in the clinic, friends that are like her.. been left in the clinic..

It was quite some time since she last went out... till these days again she brought out to some where just like the day when she was brought out of the shop..
She has no idea where is she going, hopping that the person that brought her out will treat her nice..
This time round, she was brought to a place with no friend, all alone in a new place, it was dark.. very dark.. that she's not sure how long has she been there...
Till a day that she finally was brought out.. but this time round she was too tired to be happy.. she get so use to be in the dark, and not moving herself that much..
and this time round some one brought her out.... it was so sunny, so couldn't even open her eyes and open herself up.. but the person just force her open.. and she broke down.. she cried the painfulness on every part of her body.. and than notice that she is no longer the umbrella that she was in the passed... She felt so tired and painful and close herself back, closing her eyes.. and never open......

Thoughts

Is marriage important to me now??
Guess not that important anymore...
Why?
Ans :Maybe due to age not sure??
Do you like to attend friend wedding?
Ans : No!
Why?
Ans:Don't know? Maybe don't like the feeling seeing other happy marriage, or i just want to 逃避。But partly due to the life in Singapore now. Everything is so expensive and i am not earning much.. $$$ i think is the main issue..

My job!!!
Every mth of my paid is just enough for me to spend and save some for my further. Some time i even over spend, I work from monday to Sat, although my sat is a half day work but most of the time it turn out to be like a full day, And yet i earn so little. Some time i really wonder, ppl who work five day and yet they earn that much and they complaint that their earning is little..
Why dont I change my job since i am not happy with the paid?
Because is hard to find nice colleague to work with and nice boss.
Nothing is perfect in this world!

Do I want to get married??
I guess yes, but i dun want to put to much hope, i dun want to get disappointed.

What are your plan now for further?
Work.. work and work...
Earn as much as i can and save as much as i can.

Right now i feel like i am the only child in the family.
Although i have a brother.. but when my parent are sick.. he never bother to help..
I feel stressful.. I have to work too, i have already so little time for myself to rest, and yet i have to take care of my parents when their sick or having problem. I am facing alone..
Sometime i was thinking, what if i am married.. thn will my mum and dad still depend on me?
Because my brother has a family now, and she dun want to disturb him. Than how about my futher?????

So i guess i will not hope to be married... not hope to have a family..

Maybe that the reason why i does not like to attend wedding.

Other look at me, and telling me that i am having a very good life now.. ya from the outside I do may look good.
I drive a car, but belong to my parent.. I do have a bf that i dun think we were get married.
I do have a Carree that dun make me rich.

I feel that i am getting more and more lonely right now.. I feel more happy to lone at home doing my own staff imagine things that will not happened in my life. To 满足我的愿望。To make myself more happy.

Guess i am emo at this moment.. Just feel like writing something that what i am things now.. maybe the next moment i think differently.

I am getting more xiao qi now a days, not sure why.. maybe jealous of others who has better life thn me??
Life is getting hard now.. really...