I was right

I was right, i know the called that he make.. yesterday.. He sound different.. I am know somethings was right.. When i started to ask him about the wine business.. and when he started to say he has no mood to do it.. and when he told me where is he..
Man are always selfish...
He rented a car, without having a license. I know that country wont even bother..
Got into camera and fine of $40 sing dollar.. he said he did it for fun.. to me is stupid.. wasting of money.. doing things without thinking.. speechless!!
I know something wrong going over there.. I can't do anything..-_-
I leave it to Faith.. I did tell Lionel, maybe when he is back.. he will break off with me.. becoz i have already prepare myself for that..
It always look good in the outside, but no one know really what happened.
If things really happened, i only can said i am just unlucky again. Kind of numb.. very numb to all this thing.
Went movie with Gary and Hillary, and meet Ray and Ian.. talked for a while..
Went to watch bed time story.. movie start at 12am.. so we have 2 hours to waste.. when to chill near by.. And that where i got the called from him. I knew he is going to call me.. I knew something was not right..
I guess i am more immune to all these.. more control of my emotion.. and what to do and what not to do. I keep myself not to think, of what he told me, and analyse about the situation. Just keep myself with chatting and watching movie. After the day end when i am driving back.. that when i have the time to think..
Din really sleep well.. because i been thinking the whole night.. I guess the msn to Lionel and the question that i asked.. had send it to him..
I always said, things that i am not suppose to know, it will always end up to let me know. I can't explain why?

Went to Law wedding, happy for him. We were chatting around the dinner table.. gossips about friends around us. Some how i feel Little sad.. sad about myself.. I am still hanging in the air.. with no future seen.. the only thing i could do, is just concentrate on my study and earn my own money in the future. I can't depend on others. It will kill me faster...
I will not die without anyone, accept my family... this is to make myself stronger.. I don't want to make my mum sad again.. I know i have make her very worried about me.. Must to happy with what i have now.. just to appreciate very moment i have now..

Merry Xmas, another 12 more days

Another 12 more days, baby will be back!!
He called me this morning, early in the morning.. 5am ++. I am sleeping dreaming of him.. sudden ring of my phone and i saw his pix appear on my phone screen.. So happy.. and i answer.. with my sleeping voice..
Same things, he just called to see how am i.. but he sound bore and kinda of sad in his voice in the phone. Worried.. I asked if he alright, anything bad happened, he just answer nothing and he is about to sleep.. again less than a 5 mins talk again. I could understand that.
Missed him still. Just can't wait for him to be back.
Went for chalet in the xmas eve, a small gathering with my Secondary school class mate. BBQ as usual, and made my hair with all the smokey of BBQ.. I don't really like BBq becoz i dun take the food much. But i enjoy to have a peaceful gathering.
We update about our own life and what happened around us. Playing with Ah quen daughter. Then gift exchange, ha i brought a really small present for exchange a big one.. hahah.. and they all said i earned. Probably is my luck.. Got a message cow, soft and nice... hug to sleep in the night. Have took quiet a few pix.. i posted in facebook. The day after, went for dinner with Sean, Scott and Darry.. Tired after my dinner and i went home straight..
Still reading my twilight.. getting more and more interesting.. hope to finish before my school start..

Merry Xmas

What is my baby doing now??
He called up yesterday. But we only manage to talk less then 5 mins.
The only thing the said was, is 8 degree here, how are you doing? I said the same, ok we can't talk any longer, just called to see how is you.. ok bye!
End of the call.. I guess baby must be missing me.. I missed him too.
Dreamt of him after the night he called me. In the dream we were chatting, and i can see him at the same time we talked for very long. I told him I missed him badly and he said the same to me. That the only thing i can remember, the rest of my dream was nonsense.

Merry Xmas to you baby...

Went back to school for meeting, kind of wasted my time.. I am there just to read my story book. And only did Little of the project. But when i saw my lovely classmate, i think is was alright for me to go back to school. Just to have some laugh with them.
Another 14 days to go.. is only a few days, but I felt so long..

skating day

Went skating today with Hillary and coffee with Ablert.
Spend my whole evening with them.
Skate to Hyper, saw Rick.. haha asked me to eat tang yuan. I ate 3, playing with his dog lucky... When to skate for a while, chatting all the way with Hillary while we skating. To skate in ecp on sunday is scary to me know. Lot of people around.. is so hard to skate.. kind of phobia to skate.

I have finish reading my Second book of Twilight.. "New Moon"! Going to get the 3rd book tomorrow. Suppose to have a meeting on monday, but was cancel and change to Tue.
Missed baby.. wonder what he's doing now?
Still hope every go well for him...
Lionel, talked with me about the Tongka ali.. hmm but i don't where to start and how to start on this thing? I am still hesitated about the company that supply Tongka ali.. If is so useful! Why it is not use in the clinic or hospital? Is very hard to sell it to doctor and convice them to use it. I was thinking to market the thing, but the cost of market the thing will me huge. Need to do more research on that.. really, need to think a way to know more about the products and what do the Doctor thing about this products... qustion qustion..

Eda Wedding and Baby left ..

Slept at 6am in the morning, went for dinner, and movie with baby, Sean Lim, Chris and Shermie. Watched IP man, not a bad moive, nice kong fu move and flight.
After movie, we only left a few hours to spent together. Went back to baby place listen to his nag and see him pack at the same time. That's my baby.. what to do.. He always said that i am noise.. but is also noise too when come to certain thing.. haha if you see this you were sure not agree with me..
I asked baby to record his voice for me, the song, sweet msg. So that i wont missed his voice that much. What to do? We can't msg, can't call.. That the only way to do to make me feel him, like he's around.

Never been to budget Terminal, my first time there.. hmm doesn't look locate to me, a very simple airport with just a shop and a "look" like canteen thing to me. Not that bad. Romantic with baby in the car while waiting for him to depart.. reason is there is no sit at the "look" like canteen.
But is nice to sit near with him and just the two of us. Enjoying the sandwich, during the time, something came to my mind. I feel like we both are going to some where but at the same time we both are poor but still happy being together to suffer together and we only have that much money to buy the sandwich to share. How sweet^^ hahah=ppp
Really missed him after i left, he went in at 4.50am.. I tax him when i am back home. So much to tell him that i missed him so badly.. and he reply to me 'me too'.

Din really slept well, maybe i just missed him too much. Had a weird dream, dreamt of someone that had once came to my life. I dreamt that i had beaten him up and he was with another girl and someone asked me a qus.. why are you still so angry with him since you are no longer with him.. but i can't remember what did i reply.. probably I can't forgive how he treated me.
Kana woke up by Gina, asked me if i want to go sentosa for suntan.. hmm i will like too if i no need to go to Eda wedding.. wrong time hianz..
Bath and prepare myself to Eda place, wearing my noya dress borrow from my godma..
So happy for Eda that she's is married.. she look so pretty and nice.. but the weather really killed.. so hot!! Sitting at the table to look after the guest book.. kind of happy too that i may helped up my good friend on her wedding. This is the first time i been to a Malay wedding and go thur the whole ceremony. Tired.. but happy.. Mabel called me, she sound boring.. hope that she is feeling better..

Baby.. i think i need not to say anymore that how much i miss you. Hope you are safe..Pray !!

Another 14hours to go

Another 14 hours to go .. baby will be leaving...
Counting down the hours.. just dun feel good for him to leave. Feel that after when he is back, there were be changes.. Either him or me.. Am i worry too much??
Don't know who will he meet over there, that whether or not make him change. I hope all this won't happened. Every thing will be smooth and nice when he's back.
After when he is back, we were be together for 6mths.. Isn't it fast! Time past really fast this time, but how come my study is still so far to the end??
Dreamt of working in the ward, is that stress or i worried too much about my study and work in the hospital?? I wondered what is like this time to the ward, becoz i am now in year 2 every thing that i do will be different. More responsibility and more things to do and learn. Hope i can catch up with all the things in the ward the fast movement and fast reaction to act.
Can't wait to meet baby to night or later if he can make it to meet me early.. we only left about a few hours to go and he will be to his work.
Jia you Jia you!!

Two More Days

Two More Days, my Baby is leaving.. My first Christmas with him, is a lonely Christmas and New Year. But is alright, becoz he is going over to do his work. I should give all my support to him.
Went to buy the sec book of Twilight, "New Moon" it was a sad one before the first book, Edward leave her without a reason, just want her to be safe.
I feel sad for this part as what Bella has descried

"I wondered how long this could last. Maybe someday, years from now-if the pain would just decrease to the point where Ic could bear it- I would be able to look back on those few short months that would always be the best of my life. And, if it were possible that the pain would ever soften enough to allow me to do that, I was sure that I would feel grateful for as much time as he'd given me. More than I'd asked for, More than I'd deserved. Maybe someday I'd be able to see it that way, what if this hole never got any better?? If the raw edges never healed? If the damage was permanent and irreversible?"

I can imagine if this thing really happened to me, i will feel the same way too. If the hole never heal, than how?
Yesterday, i went up and down to look for the books, I went Suntec, vivo, at last i went to west coast one of the new shopping mall. Pretty empty, with only a few shops. Mostly restaurant and a few shops that selling clothes, at last i came to the popular book store. It was selling fast, i heisted of buying which book? Becoz i not sure which was the next book, and i decided the NEW Moon Lucky it was the right one.
Went all over places to look for the book, this is the first time that i am so eager wanting to finish reading the book. And, look like everyone in Singapore is reading the story too. Is hot now!!
Today, i been sleeping for the whole day, wonder why can i sleep that much.. maybe i really can if i want. I love to sleep and dream.. dreamt lots of funny stuff but can't really recalled. Went to fb, looks like two of my friends are happily in love. And the other side there is someone with heart aching remarks which no one bother to comment or maybe just like me, no know what to comment, wanted to console but i think it will be worst if i do that. Left it then! I guess fb is really a good entertainment when you are bore in work or home, you got to see your friends chatting with other and you can chat with them too. But at the other hand it also created some problem for some couple that they are jealous on certain things. Some just can't be bother about that. Too busy with work or study.

Baby, the only thing i can say is to BE SAFE!! I know you are very use to going oversea alone and stuff, but dun forget you have me now, and i want you to be safe. Hope this is not a pressure to you. Just want you to know. I wish everything go smooth way for you.. and you can have a good start oversea and come back with all the good news.. Jia You my Baby.. Love you!!

4 more days

Baby is leaving in 4 more days time.. I only have a few hours to spend with him before he leave. No calls, no email, no msg from him or from me to him. Becoz is too ex and we can't afford the expensive cost.
I'll have to live the day without his voice with me and his human touch on me and his kisses. So I'll want him to record his voice down for me for the three weeks.
Baby BE SAFE... I hope our love will be strong and ever lasting..

I am still reading the Twilight.. it is so nice and so sweet about Edward to Bella..
The every things he do, was all thoughts for Bella to be safe. Even don he is eager for her blood, that he resisted himself on doing it.

Life really funny, every one want to know will they be married to the other person and will they be rich. But to the world now, is so hard to tell. Even for a fortune teller to predict.

Twilight Nice

Went to watch Twilight with baby...very nice show.. and romantic.. he really protected her so much.. and his eyes is so nice.. golden brown in color...
Must watch.. reading on the book now..

Recently there were so much changes around my friends... I hope they all found their happiness. But on the other side, i feel more away from them.. I dunno why??
May be I am too busy with my study..
Feeling that single is not a bad thing.. but is the pressure from the society that make it bad. Even about earning money and your social States.
It seem like the world is ending. Too much changes in one go, all around my friends..
They see me with lots of trouble and changes before.. and they see me with complicated relationships, and all my up and down in life. What goes around comes around... Love is such a funny thing??? It make them come together and it also can make them go away. To appreciated every single things we have now, even the unhappy moment, the quarrel, the crying and the laughing.. time have really pass that fast. And so much changes along the way.. what else will happened next??

Holiday Mood

Bore.. bore .. bore
I got a 'F' for my stat.. hianz. Expected!! I really understand what is stat all about, even don i had done the trial test and stuff.. but is so totally different from the stupid test. And had made so many people flunk the test..
I hope that the project will help me to pass this stupid module, which is so not irrelevant to nursing... what are we nurses going to do with stat??

To baby:
Baby, sorry for my unreasonable thoughts and my irrational thinking and behavior. Sorry i tired to stop this kind of behavior.

12 more days in Singapore.. I will sure missed you..

So bore at home now.. study study again, for my last paper for the past few weeks. 'Research' hope the paper is not that difficult, LIKE THE STAT....

Went to have a nice dinner last night with all my old time skaters, clubbing, chill, ktv and etc friends. Enjoy the dinner and have lots of laughter and fun and catching up. It been a year or maybe half since we last met. A mini gathering... Organize by Mr Lawrence which will be very soon a married man..
And Tricia too.. will be a married woman..
Congrats to them..^^
They are planning to go Taiwan, but i doubt i can join them, due to my stupid exam and attachment.. hianz.. if not i will have fun in Taiwan with my friends around.

So hope that i can go oversea, and have my holiday.. I want to be out of Singapore..
But i can't..

Short of time

Test test test, so many tests on this mth. Stress and kan cheong with the practical test. Bio, I am still ok with it. But the stupid stat, OMG is really a headache module. Argh... must study hard this time. Getting harder and harder as time goes by.

Just heard a loud bang below my blk, accident again. These is the second time over the mth. Motorist again, I think some one put spell on the yellow box to cause accident.

Ok counting down the day that my baby is with me or i can say, the day that he will be in Singapore. 17 days more, he will left Singapore to China and HongKong and will be back on Jan 6 and back to his home land on the Jan 10. I am sure I'll miss him very badly. Becoz i am so use to call him every night, and spend my weekend with him.
But I'll have to get use to it, in future he will be traveling a lots and will not be by my side all the time.
For our better future, I HAVE TO HANG ON THERE!

To my baby...
Thank for the piggy piggy, that I love it so much. You know I am collecting 1 dollar coin.. So thoughful of you!! Thank you very Much!! Ya baby, My classmate said, why do the two of us always eat and eat when we go out.. haha i think so too.. hahah

To view in a good way, haha i can concentrate on my exam and attachment when he is not around. Becoz my stupid exam fall on cny and my attachment too.
Good time management that what i have to do...
I guess this coming cny, I'll not invite my friends to my house, due to my parents are tired to do all the cooking and is really getting more and more expensive on everything. I shall have a peaceful Christmas, New Year and Chinese New year, sad that my first of all these my baby is not with me.