Dec coming

Today, been doing the project for the whole day, and was waken up by a called, that make me very pissed...
Always gave me rubbish for the project.. not going to say anything about his slide today. Tml let the rest see what rubbish he is giving again.

Baby are loving me more and more, I can feel that hehe.. and i enjoy cooking together with me. End day the food taste so nice.. with our efforts.
When to watch New Moon, the ending was suck..
But i still enjoy my day, becoz is with baby..
I really hope one of the day baby can join my family for a dinner. It was since so long i have family dinner.

Recently i came across a few type of person, one of them is my colleague. Working with her is stress, becoz she is messy, keep asking me to do this and do that. Where by i haven even finish any of them. And afraid to take responsibility in work, she is a nice person, just that the way she work... hianz no team work..

Another counter, recently know someone quite close, and she really know how to spend where by she is not earning.. after seeing the way she behave, eventually i told myself, i will not spend unless i am earning. Even don i am using my parents money but i dun any how spend the money. I only spend when i am earning.
I am working part time now, but i also worried to be over spend.

Another year coming

Another year is coming, that was so fast..
I am getting another year older.. and was so fast.. Just can't wait to finish my study and start working.

I seen so long I've been blogging.
ok let me update what ever i can remember.
1st, my family have a new member.. A baby girl has come to my family, so total of members right now is 7. Baby girl look much more like my brother, but than one more member one more burden. My bro will have a hard time, as in $$$ will be very tie.

2nd, Baby's sister came to Singapore for study. And has bought her out for the past one mth. And just a short few mths, there is so many things that happened. Baby father when for opt for his eyes. But good thing he is recovering now, but still there is another problem, $$$.

3rd, I'm working now in a clinic as a part timer. To earn some income for living.
Day of spending are getting high and i also dun want to waste my time on doing nothing at home. And school work are not so heavy too. Thanks to Amy Tan that bought be to that clinic. Clinic was small but full of different treatment. And was busy most of the time, is a good thing too. So that my time will easily pass.
Before the first time i went to join the clinic, we have a few staff, but now staff are getting lesser so i am getting more work to do. Is a good thing too haha becoz i got to earn.
El have left us, and Sharon when to gave birth, look like I am the most senior in that clinic but i only work in the night. Christina was consider the 2nd senior, but just feel that working with her is messy, she is not so organize and kind of always make mistake.

4th, me have started my school. So now are half way thur the project. I dunno why and when i have becoming the learner, becoz since like no one want to be and everyone just keep quite to avoid this role. Who asked me to be the eldest in the group. But thanks god i have quite a few nice and helpful group members.
We are starting on with our last year group project, which are going to do on sex education. Becoz now a days we notice that there are more and more youngest and teenagers getting unwanted pregnancy or even STD. Just recently i have a pt that came to our clinic, she is only 14 and she is pregnant. Dr asked why dun she use protection and the ans she gave was, under age can't get condom.
So we are going to Target and young ppl that bring awareness about std to them.

5th Baby has listen to me and change his room ceiling colour, hope it will bring him all the good luck. So happy that he is listening to me, and he is loving me more and more even don he is not buying me anything but i can feel that.
Although baby is not rich now and we are very save of spending now, but i feel happy and lovely. Wish baby all the best and many many good luck coming..

6th, my cousin daughter. She is only 10 and has found a tumor of 10cm in her liver.
So she is diagnose with CA. It was a shocking news to every body. I went to listen to her condition on yrt. She need to go for chemo for about a yr to make the tumor smaller. She is a very strong gal, when we were there to tell her about her condition. She didn't cried at all, she just keep it to herself, becoz she know that once she break down her family member will feel more worried about her.
I hope and wish that she will recover fast.
She is only 10 but her wheel power of living are very strong.
My cousin, she is always very stress and sad at this moment. First about the medical fees, 2nd about her daughter condition, 3rd about the work. It is very stress for her in this time of period and it will last her for a few year. Hope every thing will get over soon.

This next monday

We hit one year coming this Monday...
Kinda of slow...
This few weeks, been busy working and studying and nauing at home...
Went to work and i notice i make lots of mistake.. hianz... and the working hours is so long and there is nothing much to do.. ppl there are weird... or maybe everywhere is the same..
There is this auntie i think she is almost 70, she is in charge of the toilet.. she work from morning 8am till the park close which is 8pm.. she work everyday without fail.. she work for so long hours, and guest in the park really suck or i could say Singaporean suck, although i am born in Singapore.. but is really a shame...
end of the day, the toilet is full of rubbish and the auntie got to clean up the bloody toilet alone and the toilet is so big.. how come those ppl just cant throw the unwanted stuff to the rubbish bin?? And everyday she got to chase ppl out of the toilet before the park close.. and this ppl just take their own sweet time..
hianz...
I notice ppl who work there, most of them have family problem.. is a place like keeping ppl who are unwanted in other place.. but thn their all very nice ppl...
Specially Lee Yan.. she is such a nice gal.. becoz of her size ppl tend to look down on her.. but thn she is more thn her out look.
Recently MJ die... Is a waste but thn i was thinking... that god is fair...
Becoz god know that ppl dun really appreciate him so he took him away from us..
God dun want him to suffer that much.. and he is really suffering thur out his whole life.. therefore he spend so much in his whole life... to make himself happy..

I am not having school for this week becoz of the H1N1.. i think the school did the right thing.. but thn i dun like the elearning stuff... have problem downloading the stuff.. and they never give proper instruction..
Baby was sick.. hope he get well soon..
I knw he is tired yet he still go and watch transformer with me..
Transformer the best movie of the year.. really nice, i hardly want to watch a movie again in the cinema twice but thn this time i am going to watch again becoz it is really nice..

The longest two weeks..

This is the longest two weeks I ever had.. Every day since to pass so slow and so long.. Even when i sleep, I've been getting up very offend..
Saw his nick... keep himself in the box, thn back to hell..
What does all this mean????
You msg me, I feel like replying you but thn, i remember the thing you said to me, you feel so sianz when you saw the my msg.. so i stop myself from msging you...

What have i been doing? Goin out with fren, went clubbing, went to chill.. trying to pass my time.. I suppose to go for a family gathering on sat evening.. but thn i decided not to go... I know mum will be very disappointed that i never join them..
But i dun feel like going.. I dun feel good..
everyone is married with kid and have family.. the only one is me.. If i go they will start asking me, where is my bf and stuff.. when are you getting married and stuff.. I dun like it.. i hate it.. I never hide it from my mum.. i dun like this kind of gathering and i told her.. hope she understand...

The day is passing so slow.. so slow...

Days without you...

We've come to a concusion, not to see or heard from each other for 2 weeks, let each other cool down for the period of time.. to let us think thur, to let us know what we really want...
Today is only the 2nd day.. I started to miss you badly... the feeling of missing you is so different from the time that you're not in town..
I am missing with complicated thought..
What are you doing now? working? playing ball? watching drama? ktv at home? going out with fren? meeting? and do you miss me as i do?
The happiness moment that i had with you, was the genting trip.. I feel the love from you. Although it was only a two day one night trip.. but it seem to be very long for me..
The first night.. we were having our dinner in the room.. you're having your KFC.. and I am having my Maggie.. after our dinner.. we lay down on the bed and watch tv..
The feeling was great.. and we head to casino after that.. walking around the casino.. choosing which will be the best to win money...
Everything was so nice.. missed the two days one night with you..

I am worried about the outcome after this two weeks...
I dunno what to do to make it better??
the only thing is to wait... wait for the time..

Your Relationship Spread

Your View of Your Partner

Seven of Spades
Someone will offer you advice that is best not taken. Doing so will present currently unseen obstacles to your success.

Your Partner's View of You

Six of Clubs
Financial aid may become available to you in the near future. Don't be too proud to accept it.

Your Needs

Queen of Spades
This royal card represents a woman who could be either someone you love or a business rival. If she is next to the ace, nine or ten of spades, she may be a widow.

Your Partner's Needs

Two of Hearts
A warm, strong partnership. This is a very favorable card that indicates strength and support coming from a partner in your professional or personal life.

The Current State of Your Relationship

Ten of Diamonds
Happiness will soon come. Either something pleasant or joyful will happen or a situation will come to a happy conclusion.

The Path You Would Like to See Your Relationship Follow

Ace of Hearts
Problems and troubles you have been experiencing in the area of love and happiness should be lifting relatively soon.

The Path Your Partner Would Like to See Your Relationship Follow

Three of Clubs
Love and happiness; a successful marriage; a favorable long-term proposition. A second chance, particularly in an economical sense.

Aspects of Your Relationship to Consider

Jack of Diamonds
The Knight (Jack) of Diamonds represents hope or hopeful anticipation. It is especially meaningful when close to a royal card.

The Outcome

Four of Diamonds
This card represents a decision that must be made regarding a situation that is pulling you in many different ways. Consider all options carefully. This is not the time to make a careless mistake.

What Do You Mean To Him

Chloe just took the "What Do You Mean To Him?" quiz and the result is Complicated Feelings....

This guy does like you.. but how deeply.. he's still not too sure. He know's your a great catch, and that he loves being around you...but loving you is something he's not quite willing to let himself do yet. If you honestly feel deeply for him, then stick it out. If not then don't waste the pretty!

....

My almost one year is not better thn the 3mths...

Feel kind if useless...
Guess he know that i am not happy....
Maybe he has stop seeing my blog too...
My point of writ ting this is the let him know, instead of me telling him
But thn this blog has slowly become my unhappy blog, i notice that I've wrote things that i am not happy with in here...

I am speechless...
Having flu still.....
Getting really old... no longer young...if i'll have to get a new guy.. what will happened to me??I dun want to go thur all the shit any more.. I am tired of all this stupid irritating stuff...if i will have to be in my next life, i wish i would be a bird that can fly anywhere i like...
I know, i'll never get anyone that love me more thn i love them... That my life... i am born with the suay thing with me.. i blame no one....

Is always easy to say thn be done...
I just need some accompany to waste my time during my school period..
After i have done with my study... I will be busy with just my work... work and work..
Life is really tired, tired of going around the same thing again and again..
Some of my fren told me, me having a bf like not having one...
Maybe i forcing myself too hard...
Should i let it go?? or should i not?? I am just too stubborn to let it go.. and i dun let go that easily and i know i can't... it will take me harder and harder to let go each and every time..


I have to move on with my life no matter what shit am i getting now.. even now with him...
I keep owning others.. when were be that others that own me coming?? Maybe no one own me at all..

I dunno what am i writting.. I am mean while lost....
Singapore flighting against China..
But thn, singapore has been flighting for so long, singapore has never been winning anything... how sad..

Genting for bday!!

Thanks you baby for the genting trip, I really enjoy myself especially in the casino hahaha.. It is so excited to sit down there and bet, and this is the first time i am doing this.. hehe..
Right now I'm still in genting.. Baby is watching football outside the cafe, while i make use of my time to do something..
Reach here about 6+am.. woh i got a chance to look at the sun rise... it was so nice.. haha and i get to see it with baby... so romantic.. but it was just a while, becoz both of us are urgently looking for toilet.. due to the stupid bus driver who doesn't want to open the door for us.. But thn again.. weather here was nice, cool.. and slow..
While we were awaiting for the room, we also make use of our time, hiazn no chose we have to make use of the time, who asked us to come here just for two days.. I know is kind of rush.. But thn again hahaha, it was good too.. becoz we never waste of anytime when we are here...
When to casino, walking around the place... shop.. but nothing to buy.. maybe movie but nothing to watch too.. theme park hmmmm kind of old to play that and our main aim is casino hahahaha...
hmm we have breakfast at KFC, lunch in the hotel, and dinner in another hotel.. not that nice but cheap...

To baby Tommy, i am so happy that you like that T shirt.. i am so worried that i will end up buying some thing that you wont like, thank god you like it. haha
suppose to give you a surprise, but hahaha your bb me very funny n stupid.. hahaha baby happy bday to you too.. hehe I've another surprise coming up soon.. hehe
Really love this genting trip with you.. I LOVE YOU!! hehe..

Tml we'll have to go back.. i hope that we can earn our daily living in the casino hahahahaha... huat ah... must win win win...

Moody sunday

It was a sunday, and i been staying in my room for the whole day.. Watching dramas and movies..
What am i doing at home? and wasting my time in my room.. I sleep and eat and watch movie, i guess i have talk less than 10 words for today.
Is a mother day, but thn we have such a long time never been celebrating this day.
When was the last time?? I can't remember..
Since brother had got married, and my three years bf left me, we have never celebrate and have offend family gathering..
Life is so different from the past, i start to appreciate what i have last time, when i have a good relationship with my family and a good bolding.
All this has gone far away from me..

I been waiting for him to call me, but thn is already 10+ no call yet.. still waiting, wanted to call, but why do i have to be the one who always looking for him and call and see how's he's doing..
Having headache now... i hope i can sleep to night...
Less and less things to talk about.. less and less place to go, less and less thing to do.. Am i boring or is the place i live is boring??
I got a bad feeling.... just feel like things going to end soon, or i am thinking too much..
So tired... when can i been appreciate?? mum know that i am not happy..
Still waiting....

depress, like a guy

I feel like a guy more thn a gal in the relationship..
Why am I always the one to look for him?
Why am I always the one to travel all the way to go to his place and find him?
It is just becoz i drive??

When you have hard time in your childhood, you tend to have good pay back in your adulthood, how i wish my childhood was bad where by i can have some one to treat me really good and want me for his life in my adult hood..
But i guess i dun have the fave..
I never end up to be other want to be wife or future person who want to live with.
I dunno what wrong with me and what happened to me??
I am not purposely wanted to be difficult, but it really hurt me when he said that to me, i feel so useless and threaten. I am like catch in the middle and dunno what to do..
I am get depress easily, that me... I am trying to change but it just so hard..
I know my fren around me, even my mum were wonder, why do i have to treat them so well and treat them so nice, becoz their worried for me that i am been use...
Some time i feel that too, but i can't help it.. I tried to say out of my unhappiness but then, i always at the loose end..
I am not a good talker, I am not a good writer.. I am not good at anything, accept been use by others.
Why do others gal can have bf treating them like a queen, and make them like their in the heaven...
As for me, i always get scolded and ppl get frustrated with me. I din do it in purpose.. I always heard the words, or sentence.. "You dun touch me" "you just be quiet can" " can you get away from me"
Thn do he know why do i want to touch and hug him, becoz he had never hug me like last time. He had never been nice like last time, he had never been sweet like last time. I so hurting when you keep hear ding the same thing as "you go back, dun stay here..staying over night with him has become like a trouble..

I want to be sweet and nice, I know i am like a boy.. I am trying to ladylike.. I am a very careless person, i never did my things well.. always in a mass...

Is always easy to ask other to be strong, but it always the person who told the others can't be strong..
I am 28 this year.. I feel so useless...
Ppl can have good life and happy with some one really love them heartily..
I just wish to have one for my bday wish.. But why do i always get so hurt..

So stress in life..
I wish to end early of my life long time ago. But hell and heaven does not want me..
They want me to suffer more till their happy...
I have a had time to tell myself i am not a medium now. In real life yes i keep telling myself, but i my dream, i keep dreaming that i am back to my past life as a medium.. Deep inside myself i know i can't get away from this thing.
I feel sad when i look at my mum doing the medium stuff, she is sick and tired too, but i chose to leave her to suffer all those stuff.. every year now, i will cried to myself that i am a useless daughter...

Can i chose not to stay here?? Is not about the grass is aways green en at the other side, but is always when you have it but you do not how to appreciated it..

Working

Have not enough sleep, can't sleep in the night.. and I've to wake up at 7.30am..
So thur out the night, I'm half asleep and half awake..

So is it wrong for me to stop him from viewing her blog and pix??
My rational...
Becoz i know he still miss her, the more he see the more he think..
The more he can't forget about her..
I dunno am I doing the right thing??

Saw his nick in msn, writing that he has forgotten what is happiness and happiness has slowly forgotten... So is it becoz that he can't know what she's doing that's why he's not happy? Or due to his work?? Or me??
After see the nick, i feel unhappy too.. becoz some how i feel is about her..
The past few week, he did said something like why I can see others ppl pix and blog but not him.. Not i dun wantt o let him see, if after he see her pix and he can control his own feeling then go ahead, but the problem is.. he can't..


I am sad that i can't make him happy, how can i make him happy??
I'm in the age or married.. but than I've not started to work and earn my income..
I expected myself to get marry at 30s..
I am asking for too much? Am i stressing him to marry me?
I did asked if he want to marry me, it took sometime for him to ans me..
So i guess, he's still waiting for someone.. or maybe just not me..

I'm always wondering, how do can i make the guy i date, to make him want to marry me and want me to be with them forever?? I guess, I'm just bad at that.. I always can't make ppl feel to want me.. I am a trouble maker and i always give nonsense that they can't stand me.. I am just bore and just wanting to get some attention..
How to make someone to love you as much as you love them??
I think, I'm a failure...

平日

Been age I last Blog...
Been busy with attachment, party, accompany frens and bf.. My holiday ending soon..
Been busy meeting up and catching up with fren...
Was happy with baby, thu i know he's busy with his work, yet he still make up some time for me..
Nothing special recently.. Bday coming, so do baby 的。。
But i have some $$ problem.. need to save for daily living..
Been sleeping very early every day.. early like 4am in the morning..
My days in school will be dead..
I had this funny dream... I dreamt about me being with another guy.. but yet the feeling is not right.. I'll keep looking for someone that is right, and i just can't find that person, till I woke up from my dream... Ha is my baby.. Mr Liao..

When to watch movie with him, and he's really tired.. fell asleep in the movie..
Poor him.. looking at him when he's sleeping.. he look so cute hahaha..
Like to look at him when he's sleeping.. Just like the way he like to look at me when i was sleeping.. Becoz that is the moment when i am the most quiet hahaha...

School coming.. must work hard and study smart...

我的梦。。。

Suddenly feel very worried about the dream.. I dreamt it when i am at his place,
dreamt about the person i dun like came to Singapore to look for him.
And he slowly forget about me, and he slowly leave me becoz of her.
I was a bad dream.. and is so clear... I hope and pray it does not happened..
I am so worried.. and scare.. what if it really happened..??
Ok is just a dream.. a dream... I told him about the dream, and his response was, You think too much siao..
Dunno what if he is thinking in his heart..?? Maybe he really wish my dream will come true.. that was his all time wish.. hianz..

Recently, i also think about my little boy.. was thinking if he's here.. how old will he be now.. 2 bah..
I also missed my little boy, not only him..

Good thing tml i am in the afternoon shift.. if not I'll be really drain out.. so tired to work in the morning..

Baby, I know recently you're really busy, dun forget to eat and dun skip your meal.. although i always make fun of you.. but i really dun mind and i love you in whole.
But as for you??? I dunno.. wondering.. again....
Sleep and rest more... keep yourself health..

I hope i can get a sponsorship in my 3rd year of nursing.. I really want to learn more and know more about nursing.. getting more and more interesting in the ward 43..
A really good place to learn..

Sat, i will be the model for Ivan.. hope everything go smooth and good..
I want to go for a holiday.. but i have no cash..
I want to get my bone, I need money...

青天

The past one weeks was my first week of attachment in ward 43, this week will be my 2nd week.
Went out with Baby on Friday to watch Dragon Ball.. Not a bad show. After the show had end, baby went to smoke and i went to the toilet.. After my voiding, i went to look for him.. Guess what i saw.. I saw a real 捂倥。 Hhahaha.. baby was looking at me... haha we have eye contact and we both laugh.. he really look like one.. with his hair all standing up...
When baby place to stay.. becoz been a week since i last saw him..
Some time, i told myself not to look at what web site he visited, dun go and see what he have been serving.. guess rite now he is smart.. sure he will delete away once he visit the page.. maybe he really never visit the site..
Spot him again on sun, that he went to see her pix... I know he had save some of her pix in his com.. but i think either he delete away or he save it somewhere that i can't assess. e.g his lap top..
I tell myself, not to ask him why anymore.. the more i ask the more upset we are.. so be it.. I think he's big enough and mature enough to know what to do and what not to do. I dun want to be a naggy gf.. guess I'm tired.. No point haunting him, but yet he's still doing it.. hopeless...
Not sure if he visit my blog?? Guess not, recently he's been so busy with his work, dun want to disturb him and 烦他. He buddy has left the company, now he got extra work to do...
Mum got scolded from me on Friday, really dunno where do she want to go for Dr??

Past last week in the ward, so much interesting case, pt swallowing Nail will eating, drank RTA, pt with wife and gf, irritating demanding pt thought he was staying in hotel..
Ward 43 really a nice ward to work..
Back to my case study...

阴天

I have so many doubt on him, getting more and more.. I felt so useless... I dunno what will you see this?? I have so much question to ask, and i know i will get no answer. I asked myself, why? I give the my whole hearted to someone but thn i am always the 2nd class. Maybe is my life, i will never be the first.
I saw his blog in accident, saw what he has wrote in the past. Ya is in the past.. but yet that person is still in his heart.. what can i do?? Nothing..
I only can wait.. but how long can i wait??
He is very busy recently.. so i only can wait.. i dun want to make him feel that i am a bur en.. but the other side of me, want me to solve the problem..
But right now is not a good time for him to think of all this thing.. but somehow he himself will think about the past..
He is trying very hard, I know.. should i just keep on waiting?? act like nothing happened and me blind for the rest of my life??
I keep telling myself, is good that not to know too much thing, becoz eventually it will make me unhappy if i know more.. but some how.. all these things just appear to let me find out when i am avoiding it.
I want to be happy, I want to be the only one he love, i just want to be the one in his heart.. but i know i can't...
The only ting that i can do now, is the study and past my time by not tinking about it.
But is so hard..
Sorry that i always make you feel so angry that i can't give you happiness.. Maybe i am not a good gf.. sorry... I am not good at relationship.. I just want to be selfish. Can I??

I pray and hope... thing are getting better soon... pls pls pls... I have enough...

My personailty test

Are You Nosy?
Nosy Level: 70%

You may seem to be a nosy person to some people, but actually you are quite a serious person who's not at all interested in gossip. You just like to know what's going on around you. It's a natural interest and you can get offended when people tell you they think you're a sticky-beak.

Love and Your Sweetheart
Your man is a lot of fun to be with. His talk is charming and because of this he always seems to be surrounded by girls. You'll just have to live with this and not let it bother you. If you let him know you're jealous, it's likely that he would turn his back on you without too many second thoughts. To be with him, you have to give him plenty of room to move, trust him, and allow him to be independent. You should also remember to be independent yourself. He enjoys going out to parties and likes you to have fun along with him too, so make the most of his love of life.

What's your personality love style?
You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high

Bright and Cheerful
You are always cheerful and charming. You never get too serious with people when they're around, but when you are alone, you think carefully about what they have said. That's because you don't want anyone to see you being too somber. Your personality means you have a lot of friends and you are often the center of attention. Many people who fall into this category become artists and movie stars, perhaps fame could be yours in the future as well.

How you control your husband, who will lead the family and who will be led?

You will never expect to control your boyfriend or husband. Your boyfriend and you will take turns to make decision and the decision is often acceptable to both of you. Whatever you want to let him know, you can just tell him straightforwardly. This is a good relationship, a pretty modern one.
How will you choose your Mr Right?

You will make the most of being able to shop around for Mr Right. You love your freedom and will have a lot of fun learning about what sort of man you like. When you do find the guy for you, nobody will be able to keep you away from the church.
Who will be your future Mr Right?

Your future hubby will be lovely and sweet, but a little immature - possibly even a spoilt brat! This guy will trigger your maternal instinct. You'll always be willing to watch his back and clean up his mess. He might be the same age as you are or even younger.
When will you get married?

As soon as you fall in love, you'll want to grab your man and hang on to him. You will probably marry very young, so it would be wise of you to think carefully before committing.
What sort of wife will you be?

You are a bit tricky. You might pretend to be a sensitive and caring wife in his eyes, but you'll be ready to laugh at him behind his back and eventually you may even leave him for another man.
Will you and your husband have a good time together?

You and your spouse will choose to spend time on more romantic activities. You won't end up quite as healthy, but you'll have plenty of fun going out for drinks, watching concerts or playing cards at home with other friends.
What will your children be like?

Your kids will be very naughty. They will often get into trouble but you will have a great time bringing these fun-loving kids up. They are lively and smart.
How loyal are you?

You get along very well with most guys. Sometimes your friendliness misleads others to think that you're a bit of a flirt, but actually you've got a loyal heart. You'll never have eyes for anyone except your beloved husband.

You speak without even thinking. "You are definitely not my type!" will probably be the nicest thing you might say. If they catch you at the wrong time, your reply could be much worse.

The Mass Communicator
You have a cheerful personality and you are a naturally kind person. Your hidden talent isn't really that hidden at all: you shine among a crowd. You would make an ideal news announcer, flight attendant or model - any position that would give you an opportunity to deal with plenty of people. A tip for you is to avoid getting too deeply involved in others' personal lives - otherwise you might find yourself constantly being asked for help.
You recover quickly from disappointment. But when you feel that things are going wrong, you will react immediately.

How deep is your love?
Depth: 63%

You have him in a corner of your heart. Don't lie to yourself; he's your special guy. Take good care of your heart. You still have a long way to go. Always remember that love has two edges. Being apart for a while might be a good chance to proof his love to you.
You only think about having affairs with another but you will never cheat on your loved one in real life

在你怀里的微笑

可以吗 让我和你对调
希望换成你爱我爱的快要疯掉
知道吗 你对我多重要
只是现在的我们并不适合拥抱

爱随着风飘荡飘过了你
最终飘到天涯海角
把我困在这城堡 哪里也逃不了

我不要别人温柔的怀抱
听不见你的心跳
连我熟悉的味道 再也闻不到
我只要你喊我一次就好
从前亲密的暗号
多想再次亲耳听到

可以吗 让我和你对调
希望换成你爱我爱的快要疯掉
知道吗 你对我多重要
只是现在的我们并不适合拥抱

爱随着风飘荡飘过了你
最终飘到天涯海角
把我困在这城堡 哪里也逃不了

我不要别人温柔的怀抱
听不见你的心跳
连我熟悉的味道 再也闻不到
我只要你喊我一次就好
从前亲密的暗号
多想再次亲耳听到

我不要别人温柔的怀抱
让我暂时的依靠
那是份张止痛药 很快会失效
你只要再哄我一次就好
让我可以很骄傲
记住我拥有过的好
记住在你怀里微笑

Wondering

Wondering wondering..
I wonder what so good about her??
Ya she's more pretty thn me, she has better figure, she has nicer voice.
I'm stupid, i dunno anything, i always created trouble, i am clumsy.
Some time i really wonder.. why why why? Why can't he just stop viewing her blog since he said that he will not contact her any more.
I feel so sianz... i feel so bad, i feel.. hianz..
I dunno what to say..

Do he know that knowing him that he's still concern about her make her feel sad.
Do he know that not she want to be demanding, but just that she want to protect herself
Do he know that she is not that stupid all the time, just that she just want to make him happy
Do he know that she also has lots of unhappy things to worry e.g family
Do he know that doing all that will make her sad
Do he know that she know that he never forget about that her
Do he know that she knows everything but she just act like she dunno anything
Why can't he just delete away the blog??
He know that after you read and he can do nothing, thn why do he still want to read?
He know that he'll never contact her any more, unless he know he can't do it by not contacting her one day.
He know that reading it does not help him much and he can't help her much too.
He know that reading it will make me unhappy and do no good than why do he still want to read it?
He know that when he read and when i found out i will have lots of question thn why can't he just delete it..
He know all this will give him unnecessary trouble thn why do he still want to DO IT!!
I dun want to scold him, i dun want to quarrel with him, i dun want to make things bad..
WHY CANT HE UNDERSTAND????
He can do all the things for her but not me, he can listen to her but not me, he can do all the editing photo for her but not me. HE CAN PUT HER PHOTO ON HER PHONE BUT WHY NOT ME.. DO HE KNOW THAT I AM STILL VERY UPSET AND ANGRY ABOUT THAT BUT I ONLY CAN REN REN REN.. I FEEL SO UNFAIR..... IF I HAVE A GUN I WILL TO SHOOT HER OR MYSELF.. SUPER PISSED... He said all this has been past.. ya been past thn why is he still care so much about her... he said i why am i so xiao qi.. this is not about xiao qi.. do he know that the little things that he do can tell a certain thing...

WHAT A DAY... yet she need to be lovely where by she know nothing much she can do.
My mum leg is getting worst..
Seeing all the ppl coming to my house and pray.. so wish that i can asked them to stop coming..
And eating free food inside my house and dun do anything..
Irritating..

Holiday...

I'm having my holiday for 3 weeks, and only one week have past. It seem so long..
Been doing nothing at home.. sleep,eat, go out.. sleep, eat..
I need to earn money.. but i can't find any part time job just for this 3 weeks..
Ok, what have I done for the past few days... I went out to Zouk on last wed.. Went out with My ITE frens on Thur.. Went out to Liquid Gold on Sat...And went to Su Leen's son one year old Bday party at Aloha..it is consider a mini gathering too..
Never been seeing the old classmate and School mate for like 10 over years..
Every still look the same, nothing much change. The only thing that change was their stats, is either Married with kid or going to get marry, or had ROM..
Hahah someone has asked me, when am I getting marry?? hahah What a question... I never think of when because every things around me are so uncertain.. I just want to finish my study and get on with my career and start working and earning money..
Hmmm
ok let me recall when did my baby last time cooked for me?? Ok I think it was on a Monday... it was last Monday... He was trying out nice stuff.. but it turn out to be good.. hahah I missed his spaghetti.
I am working on last Sat... nothing much happened.. The only things that happened, was my good fren and my nice cousin..
Hianz Love problem.. I hope everything will turn out smooth for them..
My good fren hope the suffer that she had will all soon be over..
And one know i want to hope and wish for myself.. I hope that one of the day, my baby can join me with my good fren to chill or club or ktv together.. I want to enjoy with them and together with him... But he's so ASOCIAL...
Hianz...
Very bore now a days.. want to go for skating.. but it keep raining.. how to go?? Can stop raining for just a few days?? Let me have my exec rise...
Mum health getting bad... what can i do?? hianz... I really dunno? Should i send her to operation? But she is afraid of operation. Should i send her to therapy?? But is all so ex... How how how??
And i just can't stand that she's still doing the prayer where by her health is not good.. and why do she still have to do it.. how come the boss can't see that her health is not that good anymore and why can't she just let her stop and not doing all this things for her??
We can't rest in peace becoz all the irritating auntie will keep calling or even knocking at the door where by someone next door already told them no one around...
It is so irritating that i really wanted to scold them and ask them to get lost and stop coming to my house.. I hate that till now.. some time not i am having bad temper.. but i really can't take it where by you have no peace at home.. you can't take a proper rest... Why do my family have to do this for them?? When will all this thing going to end??

v day...

Tml is our first v day.. so excited..
The past one mth.. baby was not around.. he went back to tw for Chinese new year..
Good thing he was not in town becoz I've been busy going out,club, work etc..
Having my attachment in ward 55 NUH.. thanks god that the attachment in that ward have come to an end.. Becoz that ward really cannot make it.. The AN there, they dun have standard of working.. and only know how to stand around and sit in the tea room to chit chat.. and only appear to act like they have been working.. KNS... we students are the one doing all their job.. and yet we are not getting any of their pay... Hope i won't be going back to that ward..

During the days when baby is not around.. i been going out with my group of jie mei and brothers.. hehe.. we have fun.. every year is the same.. gathering...
But I also missed baby when he is not around.. wondering what is he doing...??
We did chat in msn.. and saw his mum..
Baby is back now, and he bought so much things for me.. Thanks baby.. but i dun like the way he spend.. hianz...
I want to do something for him, i want to buy something for him.. but the things he want is so expensive.. Gucci Belt.. baby... can you pls wait till i have the money... and i will sure buy for you on your bday... $500... I hope i can strike 4D..
and every of my worried will be gone..
Days is getting bad now, dad business not doing that well.. and mum health getting bad too.. hianz.. i have to save.. i can't spend too much now..
I bought a raoul bag for myself.. $200 wah this is the first time i bought such and expensive bag...
Money is so hard to earn now.. hianz...
Baby love you and thanks you for all the things you bought for me.. really thank you.. but next time dun spend so much le..
Life is getting difficult now..
I hope and wish that all family and friends will be healthy and able to go through all the bad time..
photos to show..

Pissed off

Super Pissed off with KP.. never contribute and want to chose slide to do.. and don't trust mike.. irritating..and make so much comment, 1st dun want to do the slides, 2nd dun trust mike, 3rd said the slide look ok, 4th not that difficult, 5th ok I TAKE THE SLIDE. What she's want.. all up to her to say.. made me so pissed.. she only scare that the slide dun give her good grades.. only wants the good and all the bads to others.. selfish!!

After baby have gone to China and back to Singapore, and been fooled for half a day in china.. It made me hate them more.. only know how to think ways to have free lunch..

Quiet pissed with baby the day before too, maybe because I can't pls him with what he want. I am trying to get him out of home and thinking of place to let him relax..
I went to his place to pick him, and i know the last mins changes make him pissed too. But i can't do anything, i can't force them if they don't want to go KTV. And he dont want to prawn.. so i quickly think of a place to go and to meet his darling..
The answer he gave me was "you go yourself, I got find my own program"... wth.. I am making afford to think of a place and with someone he know. He want to chose where he want to go, than after that he asked me to think of where i want to go and i make the decision.. dunno what he want. Hianz.. what to do i have to give and take.. and i really need time to cool down myself before i can be sweet and nice again to him.
Baby hope you understand why i am pissed that day.
Sorry baby...

Went to eat the look alike KFC with my four nabeis at paya labar.. haha enjoy the dinner.. I always enjoy going out with them.. becoz we're crazy.. hahah everything also sound funny to us.. and we laughed so much that i feel so full. And we went shopping, end of the day.. the two malay buying clothes for themselves and the other two Chinese waiting for them.. is so funny, look like they're celebrating the Chinese new year... hahaha...

Tomorrow is another day...

Hard time and New Year!!

The few days before new year.. I have a hard time.. Hard time for accpecting what he had done to me.. really can't take it.. was thinking to give it another try or not to give.. But i just can't bare to leave...
He came back early, supposingly to give me a suprise.. but I make it become not a suprise.. I hope he can forget everything over there and was just a nightmar for him and me..
He came back to celebrate new year with me. I am happy about that but at the same time i am not happy about the thing happened in china..
He called me in the morning at china, telling me he was chitted for the whole morining and might delay him from reaching the airport, China People they are just hard to trust.. Three person acting a show to chit him.. what a show!!
Lucky he was able to reach the airport in time..
I ordered prizza to wait for him, becoz i know he will be very hungry for the whole day..
He came to my place by taking a taxi, i know he is so poor but still he wanted to see me, but i saw something that i am very happy with it, his phone.. with the stupid photo in it... it make me very pissed.. super pissed.. i question him..
but we solve the problem now... I hope this new year will bring us good lucky...
And bless us for the happyiness..

Went dinner at bishun and meet Chris and Shermine and than head to fish prawn..
This is my first time doing prawning, becoz i find is stupid.. but it was quite fun after i tired.. interesting.. you must be really patient with the prawn..
And Ray, Jimmy, Jack, Gray and one of their girlfriend join in in the later of the night.. good new year start with all the funny guys.. scarying the girl about thailand hotel..
New year wish, Good result in my study, My family healthy forever, money keep coming in to us. Baby job will be successful. Trouble away from us...