Wondering

Wondering wondering..
I wonder what so good about her??
Ya she's more pretty thn me, she has better figure, she has nicer voice.
I'm stupid, i dunno anything, i always created trouble, i am clumsy.
Some time i really wonder.. why why why? Why can't he just stop viewing her blog since he said that he will not contact her any more.
I feel so sianz... i feel so bad, i feel.. hianz..
I dunno what to say..

Do he know that knowing him that he's still concern about her make her feel sad.
Do he know that not she want to be demanding, but just that she want to protect herself
Do he know that she is not that stupid all the time, just that she just want to make him happy
Do he know that she also has lots of unhappy things to worry e.g family
Do he know that doing all that will make her sad
Do he know that she know that he never forget about that her
Do he know that she knows everything but she just act like she dunno anything
Why can't he just delete away the blog??
He know that after you read and he can do nothing, thn why do he still want to read?
He know that he'll never contact her any more, unless he know he can't do it by not contacting her one day.
He know that reading it does not help him much and he can't help her much too.
He know that reading it will make me unhappy and do no good than why do he still want to read it?
He know that when he read and when i found out i will have lots of question thn why can't he just delete it..
He know all this will give him unnecessary trouble thn why do he still want to DO IT!!
I dun want to scold him, i dun want to quarrel with him, i dun want to make things bad..
WHY CANT HE UNDERSTAND????
He can do all the things for her but not me, he can listen to her but not me, he can do all the editing photo for her but not me. HE CAN PUT HER PHOTO ON HER PHONE BUT WHY NOT ME.. DO HE KNOW THAT I AM STILL VERY UPSET AND ANGRY ABOUT THAT BUT I ONLY CAN REN REN REN.. I FEEL SO UNFAIR..... IF I HAVE A GUN I WILL TO SHOOT HER OR MYSELF.. SUPER PISSED... He said all this has been past.. ya been past thn why is he still care so much about her... he said i why am i so xiao qi.. this is not about xiao qi.. do he know that the little things that he do can tell a certain thing...

WHAT A DAY... yet she need to be lovely where by she know nothing much she can do.
My mum leg is getting worst..
Seeing all the ppl coming to my house and pray.. so wish that i can asked them to stop coming..
And eating free food inside my house and dun do anything..
Irritating..