Learn, allow your partner the space to be themselves

Thanks kat for the care, i know life have lots of up and down and that life.
But i am just not like the normal gal outside. Is hard to explain and understand. So i shall not explain myself.

It's funny old thing but we often fall in love with some one because they are imdependent, forceful, powerful, in chare, in control and very much out in the world. Than the second we've captured them, so to speak, we try to change them. We come over all jealous if they carry on being as independent, as if being in a r/s with us some how limits them, ties them down, cuts their wings off.
Before we met them, they managed quite wll without us. The sec we meet them, we start giving them advice, restricting their choices, limiting their vision and dreams, curtailing their freedom. We need to stand back and give them the freedom to be themselves.
A lost of ppl say that the magic of their r/s has wrn off, that there is no sparkle there any more and that they have grown apart. And then when you look into it a bit more deeply you find two ppl locked in a symbiotic r/s of mistrust, oppression and niggling encroachment. They don't give each other any space at all, let alone space to be themselves.
So what can we do? Firstly stand back and see your partner as they were when you first met them. What attracted you? What was special about them? What turned you on?
Now look at them. What is different? What has gone and what has been replaced? Are they still the same independent person or have you eroded their space, confidence, independence, vitality? Maybe not that seem a bit harsh, but unconsciously we do tend to rein them in a bit and they do lost their sparkle.
You have to encourge them to step outside of the cosiness of the r/s and rediscover their energy and vitality. They may need to spend more time redisconvering their talents and skills at independence. And you may need to sit on your hands at times to avoid reining them in again. So encourage, stand back, sit on your hans, push and be there. Tall order.Most successful r/s have an element, and a big one, of indepandence. The couple spend time apart to bring something abck to the r/s with them. This is healthy. This is good and grown-up.
I have to learn all these.... Jia you!!

To make the r/s go with zing, you have to go back to square one and start being courteous again in the old fashioned sense of the world. You have to reintroduce yourselves to each toerh as respectful, tachtful individuals who are going to start againg being pleasant, kind, civil and polite. Form now one will say please and thank u no matter how many times a day it is necessary. Be thoughtful, be complimentary, give gifts withour there being any reason for it ask qus to show you are interested in what your partner is saying. Be solicitous of their health, welfare, dreams, hopes, workload, interest and pleasure. Take time to hlep them thake time to focus on their needis and wants take time to just be there for them not to have to do anything except listen show an interest show that you still love them. Don't allow bening neglect to ruin your r/s.
We treat strangers exceedingly well and usually reserve our beast attentions for ppl we work with. Our partner gets missed lots of the bustle of it all. In fact we should treat them better then anyone else. After all they are supposed to be the most important person in the world to us. It makes sense to show them this is true. Of course if you already do all this you must excuse me reminding you to.
The best r/s are the ones where both are supportive of each other's interest even if they aren't their own. You have to be very centred yourself not to fell jealous or mistrustful or resentful. You have to be prepeard for them to be independt, strong out in the world separte from you. We take great pride in being first becoz we are so firm in our own sense of ourselves that we don't feel any loss of pride if we say sorry. we don't feel threatened or challenged or weak. We can say sorry and still be strong. We can say sorry and retain our dignity and repect. Be the first to say sorry becoz we are in the wrong no matter what the argument is about. Arguing is what we are saying sorry for it. Saying sorry first becoz we are noble, kind, generous in spirit, dignified, mature, sensible and good. You have to be the first to say you are sorry, encourage and support them, give them freedom, be supportive, be nice and now i am saying go tat extra step to pls them as well. This is about going an extra step to pls the person who means the most to you in all the world and the person you love and cherish and care about. e.g givig speical treats, Going out your way to find out what they would really like and then giving it to them. Is not about money. Is about surprising them finding little things to delight them and show that you have thought of them. TO let them know how special they are and how much you care. We all need someone who is pleased to see us. It make us feel it is all worthwhile. You are dedicating your life to someone else's happiness. To really care, to still be in love to want your partner to be fulfilled, successful and happy complete. This is chance to have a really good strong r/s based on mutual trust, responsibility, shared happiness, drive and the pursuit of excellence. Your partner isn't just there for someone to chat to when you get a bit fed up and want some company. They are there becoz they love you and you them.Keep talking, helps resolve problems, silence only amplifies them, talking keep you together, it's what you used to do when you first fell in love remember? Acknowledge that your partner has spoken to you and no a grunt or a sigh isn't what i mena. Make some recognition every few sec that you are still awake, alive in the room interested paying attention this mayb be a nod a yes or no a noise of encouragement.
The happiest relationship are where both parties see the need for flexibility in their rules.

http://www.astrology.com.au

Your Relationship Spread

Scroll down for your interpretation. Click on individual cards to see a larger representation.



Your View of Your Partner

Book of Charms Reversed
Someone will or has invaded your privacy with ill intentions, and created an atmosphere of distrust. The information they obtained will be used against you.

Your Partner's View of You

The Gnostic Talisman Reversed
This aspect will be tested morally. This test is may be well hidden and the solution a mystery to you. Regardless of your decision or the outcome you will feel you have failed and it will disturb your for a short time.

Your Needs

The Swastika
Over the next weeks and months this aspect should be one that requires little effort on your part to keep things moving forward. This is one of the few charms that has the same meaning upright or inverted.

Your Partner's Needs

The Food Charm
Your health vibration is very high! You are energetic and feel you can accomplish anything. This aspect reflects positive vibrations due to diet. This will continue for a few weeks.

The Current State of Your Relationship

Gemini the Twins
This aspect of your life will be strongly influenced by a person who is adaptable, versatile, communicative, witty, intellectual, eloquent, youthful and lively. This could be a sibling, a child or a very close friend.

The Path You Would Like to See Your Relationship Follow

Airies the Ram Reversed
This aspect of your life will be strongly influenced by a person who is selfish, quick-tempered, impulsive, impatient, foolhardy and a bit of a daredevil. Be careful this person keeps your best interest at heart and not their own. This person is probably somone you already know. Do not allow yourself to get caught up in their impulsiveness.

The Path Your Partner Would Like to See Your Relationship Follow

The Cross
This is probably the most popular of charms. You will be protected in this aspect. No one will be able to harm you or your state of being.

Aspects of Your Relationship to Consider

The Amulet Box Reversed
There are papers in your near future. This aspect is affected by legal papers of some kind--a contract, a legal action or a fine of some kind. These papers will cost you financially and emotionally.

The Outcome

Necklace of Charms
What you need in this aspect is a bit of understanding. You can find happiness in abundance if you understand and accept the differences of those with whom you share your life within this aspect.

Try on, on the spread!!

What if??

Today, when i am walking to work in the morning 6.40am. I nearly knock down by a cab if i walk faster. Ready to cross the road at the zebra crossing and the cab just drive pass in front of me. At that very moment, i started to think. If i really knock down by the cab! What will it happened for the very next moment??
Is things lots of nurses and ppl will be surrounded me, and A&E is just across the road. No ambulance because i am very near the A&E so pushing the trolley will be good enough. Next i will be will lots of lead and stuff, a&e will post the news to the hospital, ward will be inform and teacher will be inform. Student nu res nyp involve in RTA. Teacher will come, and the whole hospital will know about me.
Follow by parents will be inform and family will be inform. During that moment when crossing the road, what am i thinking? I am thinking of him. My mind came if really happened to me, guess he will be the dunno how person to know about my accident.
Mother will be very sad and worried, brother and sis in law will come and father will be dunno what to do? Whole family and my mother gang will be inform. Than slowly my friends. And from my close friends who know him will also let him know.
But will he come and visit me? I guess he will. How will he feel? Sad and regret? Maybe because i have already make him terrible is such things really happened to me, he will be more terrible. If i really can't make it. I guess every one will cry from me and i will see lots of ppl around me. And at that point of time. I will like to let my mother know, i know i have not been a very good daughter that always give her worried and i want her to have good health. And i am sure she will have no more heart doing the prayers at home. As for my brother he will be very sad, and he will start to blame on the god that we prayed. And i will like to let my brother know. He had a family right now, he had change allots from last time after he became a father and asked him dun neglected mother and father and pls bring my cute nephew to visit my mum instead of them to pay a visit to the grandson. I will bless him with luck. Father i always feel that we have never want to talk to my father in our family, we have lack of communication with him, I know he love me a lots and care for me, but he always dunno how to approach me, even don he know that i am sad about things. I want to tell him, rest for his life dun work so hard. As for the special person, I will want to tell him, dun give up on anythings that he wanted to do, dun feel bad about himself and about me. Be more happier with himself and hope him to have a good future with my total bless to him. I know i have not been a good girlfriend but pls forgive me. But our love will be forever remember and i will forever treasure. To my little nephew, I might not able to see to grow up but he must always remember he has a auntie that love him alots. For the rest of my friends and ppl who had hurt me or ppl who i dun like or like.
I have forgive what ever hurt they done to me, I would not want to see my friends and family to be sad about me. Hope all my friends live with happiness.

Or
What if i never die? My ward will full of ppl that come and visit me, but will he be still with me? I think not, by telling myself not because i dun want to hope but of course i hope he will. My friend will visit me, and i will have full of present from them. How long will i stay in the hospital to recover? Will i be disfigure? What will my life lead to?

I know i been thinking too much. But at point of moment i really think of that . Who know what will happened to me the very next moment? I just want to wirte down something that i want to say.

Though of gain!!

Today my mum called me up and told me my hamster die. I am so sad!! I think these few days i am so down that i fail to take care of my hamster. But i still remember i feed him and gave him water the few days before, he was still drinking very well.
When i reach home, the first thing i went to look at my dead hamster, he was so cold and stiff. So sad, he use to be so active. Me and him, use to clean him, play with him, feed him, treat him. He bought us lots of happiness. I just feel so sad when i got to send him down and dig a hole for him to rest in peace.
He leave me, and my hamster leave me too. Iszit a sign that telling me something going to happened? Or my hamster just know that we are ending or my hamster just feel for him? Is my hamster too sad that he is leaving me and wont be seeing him again? That why he chose to leave me? He was my first hamster. I feel so sad...

Today, i get to msn him.. we talk.. he asked me to move on.. but i want to move on with him. I dunno, i am still confuse.
I dunno iszit really my own though or we are just to alike?
I use to be very strong and motivated and very positive thinking when i am single, just like what he told me. I just lost all the positive thinking after when i am with him. I get disappointed with myself becoz of him, he had the same feeling too.
Are we both just love each other too much? Are we both just care each other too much that we scare that we were disappoint each others? That make us very bad? Some time i feel that i am not that good and i scare he wont see my good and my capabilities.
Do he feel the same too? I feel like i started to live for him more than living for myself, i know it was bad to live for someone rather than yourself, but is so hard to control these kind of feeling and emotional. Do he feel the same too? I think he do...!!?? That turn us to become so bad. We both are just selfish, i guess we both just been hurt too much, we are so afraid to be hurt again, we only want the other party to understand us to give in to us. We use to be so understanding for each other and so giving in for each others, iszit normal when a couple came to a stage that they have forgotten how to give in and how to be understanding for each other?
Some one told me, he has mood swang, who dun have? I have it too! She said, when he is happy he talk to you when he is not happy he dun want to talk to you. It sound like me too. Un i am like that too? I am just like him, just that i get frustrated to my fren rather than to him, becoz he is the one i love.
He told me, we start from fren again, let him has his time, and if we get better maybe we will see how.
I think that is the best way. My mum and dad they had print away the wall. I think that is really a start again for us.
Him, give me a secure feeling, becoz i know he wont go out and play outside with other gals. He has the responsibilities just that some one just dun understand him. Base on the key and she jude which i find is very unfair to him. Becoz he do that at his own home too.

Dun like to join my fren, iszit becoz,if he dun treat me well my friend will not like him? Or he is just to tired for the day and he still have to keep him smile when he dun feel like doing it? Or he is just not in the mood, due to his work and he want to have a peace mind? Or he is stress becoz he is still not that successful enough, as i know image to him is important? Or he dun click with them? Or he is lost and lost confidence on himself? But all these i think i am thinking too much.

I feel better after he talk to me^^ At least he willing to talk to me and tell me his problem^^ He still need my understanding. But do we both have another chance? I really dunno? If we are back together, will these thing happened again? Or it will become better as i know him better and he has know me better?
I notice i have getting to know him and understand him more after all these thing happened and is not easy to understand him and know him.

I dun want to expect anything, I dun want to hope for anything. These is just to remind myself not to hope and not to expect and i wont be so sad... if i get a neg ans from him.

thinking of him!!

If only a few days, my mind keep thinking of him. My mind is the one who asked me to leave him, and now my mind keep thinking of him. Every morning when i wake up, is so hard for me. I have to tell myself he is not with me any more. But have a habit, every morning i wake up i will think that he is still with me, and i will be very happy and wanting to contact him and msg sweet msg to him.
We both like to eat korean food, we both like cheezes cake. All the memories just keep flashing every moment of us together. Bangkok, with him. Before he went cambodia. I know i am make him very disappointed with me during the day he was at cambodia. After when he came back, i am the one who make things worst. I hate myself why not to be understanding and why not to be patient and demanding.
My room, i ever told him before too. My room is printed by lots of different colour before by different ppl. And these time round i want him to print with me, becoz i though he will be my last. He gave me a wonderful room. A room that belong to me and him. But right now is a room that make me very sad that i still have to stay with it.
The colour that i never think of it, we chose the colour. He gave his idea.
The mirror, fix it my his hand. No matter how much i said and how much i think back is all gone. I am so mentally tired these few mths. I can't concertate on my other work. I fail my assisgment. I have not mood to do.. My first assisgment which he help me alots. Which he help me to find for places to print the assisgment. We run there and here we called every where asking for printer.
He really did alots for me, for the frist three mths. I think i fail to apprecate him and give in to him during the time. And i still wanting more from him. I fail to understand him, how tired he is from work. How stress he is after work. But everything was just too late. He will never give us another chance and he will never. Will we be together again? If we are back together can we forget everything bad in the past? Why to become a human? Why do i have to grown up? I still love him.

Gone!

Every thing just gone within one day!! The room that i stay had turn me into nightmare. The puzzle we done together, have pointless meaning. My wall, he did said if one day he will have to leave me i will have to knock down the wall. So he cannot and wont leave me. What now? If i can i will like to burn down the house.
Why Why Why...........
What did i done wrong? These are the five time that i get the same thing happened.
All just change their attitude toward me, i am so disappointed with myself, i hate myself. Well you love the wrong person, you just haven meet the right guy. How would you know if you dun try? Find some one to love you more thn you love him more. How?
Everyone is the same, they love me more, but after awhile they just change when i started to love them more. Choose how to choose, where by ppl also choosing me.
Mum said i will meet the person when i am 26 going to 27. Than what now, i met him during the time. We started, every thing was so nice and smooth. After a few mths it just change. Why am i gong thur all these. When these thing going to stop for me. Iszit i have to end my life thn i will not go thur all these? I pray so hard every year every day. Than what i get? I did so much good than what i get?
I just hate myself. It had been so many times. And ppl will just asked me to be strong. But they just dun understand. The thing keep happening and all is the same ending. When ever i am getting into a relationship i am so scare. I cried that it will happened again. I am not wrong it happened again. A person that have been going thur the same problem all the time, who will have to heart to be strong. I am disappointed very disappointed. I just hate myself! They said that is life, if you are repeating the same thing again and again, wont you find something is wrong? Wont you want to find out why? But who can give me the ans??

My heart!!

Hate myself... always do stupid things at wrong timing.
I am just stupid.. Why am i always like that? I need to reflex about myself. To change for the better. I start reading the book i bought the rules of life. I think i need to read that to improve myself on the things i handler.
After all he is nice, I know he love me, that turn him to become these way. I think i need to do my part too. Sorry for what i had done.

We love sport
We love music
We love to cook
We love to watch movie
We love animal
We love sea
We love outdoor
We love our friends
We love our family
We love what we are
We love traveling
We love freedom
We love and know how to appreciate
We both like to sleep
We both like to have family gathering
We love lucky
We love we love and i love what he is hope that he love what am i!