Feeling

I dunno if you were see this blog, i dunno if you come and read?
I hope and wish you will...
I did to much recently, when to Perth alone for Holiday, weather was nice and good over there, ppl was nice and friendly too. Was thinking can i dun go back to Singapore? But i can't i have to go back.
Perth, a slow and relax place, that make human less stress about their life.
Know a Japan friend over there, Kenta Suzuki. Nice guy, which we chat alots on the only dinner we had. During the days in Perth, i still can't stop thinking of him, non stop. What ever i do or did, i wish he can be with me and enjoy the nice and relax environment. I can't stop thinking and missing him. I eat, i sleep, i go and walk around i still keep thinking. I missed those days with him, including the days we quarrel badly. At least i have some one to quarrel with me. I have forgotten how i portray myself to him at the being. I cut my hair, i go oversea, i go out with friend, but still i can't get over with him. My heart just fill with him. But my mind as me not, it will never do me good. But my heart just missed him.
I had become really just a friend to him. Is he really busy with his work that he is unable to reply me? I guess so... Or he just can't be bother to reply me. Bleeding Love, iszit for me to listen?? I dunno, maybe not. I just thinking too much.
I am no longer important and special anyway. But i still missed him. i can't help it with my heart. I did lots of things but still the same. I see ppl around me are happy and doing well. Everyone have their the other half with them, even if they quarrel and break up many times but still they are back together. Their love is so strong, feel so unless about myself.. Do i need to stay strong in front of everyone? I know i have make everyone give up on me. Talking to me, make them feel tired and waste of time. Becoz everyone said i am big enough to think. Ya think, by thinking too much does it help? My simple wish, it will never come true. If only miracle i can wait for that.. I dunno what i am writing too, all of i write is all neg, i can't help it.. I am not motivated by anything right now. If only him... My love! That even the cards said, i will have a hard time with him. But i will still want to be with him. Guess i am blind by love and stupid to suffer but i dun mind... how stupid am i.. can anyone understand? True love? or just my wish?